Turning Tears to Wine

     God turns tears to joy-----mourning to dancing . What a boundless God he is. Lately he's been giving me much revelation from the Psalms. The Psalms are the human heart made poetry; they run the gamut of emotion, from fear to frustration all the while managing  to honor the Lord with every verse. In Psalm 58, verse 8, David was especially sorrowful. He notes to God "You have kept count of my tossings." You maybe familiar with his next words "Put my tears in Your bottle. Are they not in Your book?" (ESV)

  Of this bottle I'd always envisioned a tiny vial. Perhaps crystal, with  swoops of color across the  curve.  Today God corrected this image. In the tiny notes of my NIV translation Bible, was an alternate translation of "bottle." The NIV suggests the word  also be translated as "wineskin." God's bottle for our tears is a wineskin-----bottleshaped skin that holds the drink that makes us glad. 

  
   Didn't Jesus turn water to wine and aren't our tears as salty water? God promised through several prophets to make new wine overflow. New wine, as you may have guessed, is fresh and it was also known as "sweet wine"[1].  Sweet, new wine was also highly inebriating.  Wine is a symbol of the Holy Spirit(Eph 5:18). When God pours out his Spirit in the New Covenant, he brings joy and sweetness to his people that is intoxicating (Acts 2). This morning God gave me a greater picture of his tear-bottle. Perhaps he turns those tears into the wine of the Spirit. Maybe when we are heart broken, he empties out that wineskin of pain, then pours the happy mixture over us.  He gives us the Holy Spirit and intoxicates us with the joy of his love.


   [1] "Strong's Greek: 1098. γλεῦκος (gleukos) -- Sweet New Wine." Strong's Greek: 1098. γλεῦκος (gleukos) -- Sweet New Wine. Accessed August 02, 2016. http://biblehub.com/greek/1098.htm.

Whole-Hearted Faith

The Lukewarm

    There are such people as pew warmers; warm bodies with cold hearts that occupy seats in churches. Pew warmers  think they are Christians because they were born in a Christian family. Some may have heard a few snippets from the Bible, and nodded heartily to what was heard , all the while failing to put it into practice.  Others may simply equate Christianity with good people and conclude if good people are Christians and they are “good people”,  then surely they are Christian.

Interestingly some pew warmers don’t even go to church; but both the churched and non-churched  variety are nominal Christians. Christians in name only.  I would know because I was one of them.

    Throughout high school I  thought I was Christian because it was the religion closest to me. It was the one I was born into. Like with my last name, I took Christianity because it was there , then thought nothing of it.  One day this thoughtless belief  changed. While a freshman in college I surrendered my  life to God.  Before then,  I  wasn’t sure God even existed, but I did suspect that if I were to  truly follow God he would require all of me. For many years I wasn’t willing to give up all my life to him. I had been fine  treating him distantly and going to him only if I was scared or in trouble. Deep down I knew I was holding back yet didn’t care. Until I became desperate. On the day I surrendered I knew I couldn’t hold back anymore: I was so tired of my life, so tired of feeling lonely, so tired of my pain. So when I tearfully looked up from my bed and said “ I can’t do this anymore God”, I meant it. I made an active, conscious  choice to surrender control of my life. In an instant I went from pew warmer to real Christian.


 Real Christian

  The difference between a pew warmer and a real Christian, is that a real Christian has decided actively to follow Jesus.  When this happens God makes them a new person (2 Corinthians 5:17). Not only that, real Christians have  chosen to believe with all their heart. This can be seen in the book of Acts.  In Acts chapter 8 vv 26-38, God supernaturally leads an evangelist named Phillip to meet an Ethiopian eunuch. When Phillip came to the eunuch, the eunuch was having difficulty reading a passage from Isaiah. The eunuch didn’t know it but he had been reading about the messiah Jesus.  He asks Phillip what does Isaiah mean. Phillip uses the opportunity to preach the gospel of Jesus. When Phillip finished preaching, the eunuch said

“Look, there's water! What would keep me from being baptized? ” [37 And Philip said, “If you believe with all your hear you may".  Some manuscripts have chosen to omit this verse. However, I believe it belongs there, simply because God spoke a similar word in the book of Jeremiah.

   Some have debated what it means to be a true Christian. They ask “are you a Christian because you said a prayer, particularly one called the Sinner’s Prayer, one time in your life?  I’d say “yes”, if you prayed it with all your heart.   A true Christian is one who has believed in Jesus with all his heart.  Now, some may ask “what constitutes believing with all the heart?” I think the answer is different for different people. We can’t prescribe an exact definition or criteria. However we can generally conclude  it means if you’re prayed with all your heart, you’ve made a commitment. You have counted the cost and have decided to accept the message of the gospel. You may not perfectly understand all that entails( I didn't)———You may not grasp the degree of what you must give to God, but you do grasp that you must surrender:  Afterall, you have believed in yourself, you have trusted in your own abilities, you have tried to direct the course of your  life and have failed. When you've gotten sick of the failure, or even if you want to experience real Life, you decide to believe in Jesus with your whole heart.   You may not know exactly what Christianity is (I didn’t)  but you do know that you can’t stay where you are. To believe with all your heart is to say “I want what Jesus gives. Today I will receive it.”  It means  when you hear the gospel, you understand that when you come to God, there is no holding back. There is no half -hearted surrender. You give God all of you and you receive all of him.


 But we are weak

You may not have the ability to surrender but even if you want to,  it still counts as believing with all your heart.  Like another person did, we can exclaim "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!" (Mark 9:24) Of course, you may also stumble in following God.  There will be moments you try to take back your life or parts of your life. This back-pedaling is inevitable, for all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God (our imperfection is why we need Jesus in the first place). However, all it takes is one surrender to permanently belong to God.  Though you  may stray to unfaithfulness , he will ultimately keep his promise to to give you all of him. Thus to seek God with all the heart is a position of humility and determination. It means you understand your own weakness before God and you long for the One who can truly satisfy your heart’s desire for a full life. In surrendering to God, your heart turns from ice to fire because the very consuming fire of God comes to live inside of you. When you believe with all your heart, you are no longer content  to warm pews, to merely sit in Christianity without commitment. No, when you believe with all your heart, you set the very world aflame with your passion for God .

A Word for the Weary

 Lately I've been buckling under the load of unbearable weight. The stresses of life have deadened my limbs, work has wearied my back, delayed promises from God have slown my feet; and I 'm tired. Week after week I've been weak. As an introvert I tire easily,  and have a job where I'm constantly around people, some who demand much from me.

On top of this all , I haven't been taking care of myself, getting little rest and eating unhealthily. The sorrow  of the world sags upon me. Everything has piled up and suddenly I'm crashing. In the midst of all this, I've heard Jesus speak

" I know you have little strength"

This sentence has replayed in my mind throughout the weeks of my stress. Although I knew it came from the book of Revelation, I paid little attention to it. Until today.  This morning I decided to look up the verse in it's entirety and am shocked at what I've found.

All you need is Love

Jesus said these exact words in a letter to the church of Philadelphia.  Here's some background information about the letter: Over the course of 2 chapters, Jesus addresses 7 churches. (Some Bible scholars believe each church represents the actual 2000 history of Christianity ) Jesus praises 6 of the churches and rebukes 6. Out of all the churches, Philadelphia is the only one Jesus  doesn't rebuke. Why is this?  In terms of church history, Philadelphia represents the modern evangelical church; Philadelphia is home to those who are born again and genuinely believe. (Though the other churches have genuine believers within them, only Philadelphia represents the church in it's purest form) Because the Philadelphians believe in Christ, God does not see their sin. Moreover, the name Philadelphia also means "city of  brotherly love", perhaps because the believer's genuinely love with Christ's love . Thus because love covers a multitude of sin, Jesus does not mention the sin of the church(1 Peter 4:8).

The church of Philadelphia was suffering great persecution. yet they patiently endured thier trial. I have also felt tried these past few years and especially past few months. I look around and see that I'm not alone. The world groans beneath the oppression of sin and it seems we've all been relentlessly hit with tales of tragedy, violence and hate. But to those who belong to Jesus, he says:

See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut. I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name. 9I will make those who are of the synagogue of Satan, who claim to be Jews though they are not, but are liars—I will make them come and fall down at your feet and acknowledge that I have loved you. 10Since you have kept my command to endure patiently, I will also keep you from the hour of trial that is going to come on the whole world to test the inhabitants of the earth.11I am coming soon. Hold on to what you have, so that no one will take your crown.

A Word 

This is a word for the hour. I realize that my struggles aren't always about me alone. Sometimes I suffer for the sake of others...sometimes the Church suffers together as a Body so that we may comfort others who hurt.  All of Revelation 3:9-11 is for me,  and for the whole Bride of Christ. I believe the Lord says the time for vindication and reward has come. What has been lost, the Lord is about to restore. Even your enemies, betrayers, and persecutors are about to see you exalted. They will fall at your feet and acknowledge that God has loved you. Bride ,you have had little strength but your Bridegroom is coming. Because you have honored him and have clung to his name despite attacks, God will reward you.

 The signs of the times say Jesus is coming soon (Matthew 24). The hour of trial known as the the 7 year tribulation will spring upon the earth(Daniel 9:24-27, Matthew 24:21; ) but the Church will not be a part of it because we aren't appointed to suffer God's wrath (1 Thessalonians 5:9)[1]. Soon Jesus will come to take us where he is, as well as fix our earthly problems now. He has good plans for each of us. Yes, he will open doors to your dreams, as well as doors to heaven. On the earth, what you have longed for, God will soon give you.  Get ready Church----the Lord comes. He comes to bless you, restore you, increase you and give you favor now, and in heaven. He will come into every dry area of your life and water it afresh. This will all happen soon, says the Lord. 

[1] For more information about the tribulation, see this excellent resource:
https://gracethrufaith.com/end-times-prophecy/seven-things-you-have-to-know-to-understand-end-times-prophecy-part-1/

2016, The Year of Success

My new favorite word  is Tsalach (t-saw-lakh) I first heard it over five years ago while listening to the gospel singer Eddie James' song of the same name. I liked it then but forgot about it until now. I  didn’t listen to the song again until recently. What prompted me to listen to it again was probably God. While reading a topical bible on prosperity, I stumbled across tsalach. Spurred, I listened to Eddie's song again, which further led me to study the definition. I’m glad I looked it up.   God has given me a beautiful prophetic word based on Tsalach.


    Tsalach has two primary meanings: to be sent and to advance. Strong’s concordance states “to push forward, in various senses ...-- break out, come (mightily), go over, be good, be meet, be profitable, (cause to, effect, make to, send) prosper....”


     The first definition refers specifically to the Holy Spirit being sent , and coming upon someone suddenly. The second definition, which we'll focus on,  means a successful journey, to advance, to move forward. Joshua 1:8 is a good example: " This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success."


   Tsalach is the Hebrew word most translated to prosperity in the Old Testament. Another word, which you may be more familiar with is shalom and it means wholeness and peace, needing nothing.  It is likely what most people think of when they hear the word prosperity. Many have focused on the financial or health benefits of prosperity. These are all good things but they are not the highest definition. If Tsalach means to advance or progress, then true prosperity is to be successful and make headway in God's purpose for your life.


   Tsalach essentially embodies the apostolic, a word that means to send , a word that means to advance the Kingdom of God.  Hearing Tsalach excites me because I"m ready to advance  in God's plan for my life:  I'm ready to break through to my destiny. God's word tells me how:


   For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." (Eph 2:10)


  As we walk in God's ordained path for our lives, we will progress. Walking in any other path will cause us  to circle through the wilderness, treading the same ground and seeing the same things; we will not advance in life if we don't walk with God.  If we  commit our way to him, even the path that leads through the desert will ultimately take us to the promised land.

  We're on our way to the promised land but first we must make it through this desolate land. We can be sure of this:God will make a way in the desert. Streams of life and refreshment will pulse through us. Lush fruit and vegetation will spring up. Through dry and difficult times, God  will push us , carrying us in the river of his grace. With the concept of Tsalach we will find ourselves brimming, bursting forth into our land of promise like water breaching a dam. God has so many exciting things for us, just waiting to be discovered. He is doing a new thing in 2016! Seek him to find that new thing in your own life. Won't you press through and see it? Won't you ride the waves of his incredible life and grace? It is time to advance. It is time to make progress in God's plan for you. Time to break forth. 2016 is a year of entering the promised land. Tsalach-----let's move forward.

The Need for Supernatural Experiences

Hungry or Just Greedy?

     Often I find myself longing to experience God in a new way.  I've always been an imaginative person, wishing for more to happen than just the mundane : wake up, eat, go to school or work, come home,  eat , go to bed.  Through being a Christian I've learned there is much more to life than just what I can see. There is an entire spiritual realm waiting to be explored. I crave spiritual adventure and ever since my first taste of it,  I've been ravenous for more. On the day I surrendered my life to Jesus, I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit via a heavy weight that pinned me down to my bed.  I then heard the voice of God for the first time, speak "You are dearly loved my child, dearly loved".  After that I daily heard his voice, felt his presence. I experienced the supernatural realm in  a way I never had before.  After such a heritage, how could I  ever settle for any activity devoid of God's power?   However,  I quickly learned it was not everyday I experienced something fresh and exciting. With time even my new supernatural experiences became routine. I learned  I could not ever be complacent. Even with spiritual matters I had to continuously seek MORE. I've had mixed feelings about seeking "more" though. I'd heard many Christians warn not to seek the "gifts" but the giver.  Of course, there is always the danger of idolizing supernatural experiences, of putting such  experiences ahead of God.  At times I seemed to have fallen in to that trap. I yearned for new experiences or for God to show me great and hidden things I did not know,  but did that make me an idolater,  a chaser of experiences rather than God? After three years of pondering this I believe I finally have the answer.  It is not wrong to strongly desire spiritual experiences or any kind of gift. The sin lies in wanting the gift MORE than God. Our desire for spiritual experiences can be strong but our desire for God must be stronger. So how do you know if you are desiring gifts more than the giver?  An easy way is to ask God to show you and then examine yourself. As the last two verses of Psalm 139 express,

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. (ESV)

Would you still love God, even if you never had another supernatural experience? Could you wait infinitely for him to bless you and at the same time bless him infinitely? If you experienced nothing but suffering could you still be thankful to him? If you can say yes to all of these, then you know your heart is right and can pursue supernatural experiences with a good conscious. If you find yourself saying no to any of these (which I have) repent and ask God to help you stay focused on him. Then, continue to patiently ask him for the desire of your heart because he doesn't want you to completely stop seeking. He delights in giving good gifts and actually wants us to hunger for his gifts so that he can fill us. We have not simply because we ask not, or ask with the impure hearts. But "Ask and you shall receive. Knock and the door will be opened to you. " (Luke 11:9-10 NIV) Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God. If what you ask for is according to his will, you will be sure to get it. 

(1 John 5:14, NIV)

Now Show me your Glory

Perhaps the biggest justification  for seeking spiritual experiences comes from the book of Exodus.  One day God highlighted this story to me. In Exodus 33 Moses says to God "Now show me your glory".  I've always wondered what that meant. On one hand it seems he's asking God to show him something "amazing". When I think of glory, I think of something astounding or mind-blowing. However in Hebrew the word for glory used is  "kabod" and it means "weight"[1] . It signifies the inherent , intrinsic worth of something. God's glory is so tremendous that at one point his priests could not stand to minister under it (1 Kings 8:11). Moses had seen much of God's miraculous power, especially his parting of the Red Sea (Exodus 14) yet he asks God to show him his glory. Interestingly God responds to Moses' request to see his glory by proclaiming his attributes to him.

And the Lord said, “I will cause all my goodness to pass in front of you, and I will proclaim my name, the Lord, in your presence. I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion. But,” he said, “you cannot see my face, for no one may see me and live. Then the Lord said, “There is a place near me where you may stand on a rock. When my glory passes by, I will put you in a cleft in the rock and cover you with my hand until I have passed by. Then I will remove my hand and you will see my back; but my face must not be seen.”.......And he passed in front of Moses, proclaiming, “The Lord, the Lord, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin. Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished; he punishes the children and their children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation.”( Ex. 33:19-23,  34:5-7 , NIV)

 God shows Moses his glory by proclaiming his goodness and righteousness to him. Its as if God said " When you ask  to see my glory you are really asking to see my face: you are asking me to show you who I am."  Notice before God could reveal himself to Moses he had to  "hide him" in the cleft of the rocks, in what is also known as " a secret place". I believe this place of intimacy in the cleft of the rock points to the protection from God's wrath that we find in Christ; as Christians we are hidden in Christ in God (Colossians 3:4, NIV) Moses could not see God’s face, which was the ultimate sources of his glory,  because under the old covenant he was not fully righteous before God. God is so holy that he dwells in “unapproachable light” (1 Tim 6:16 NIV) and no one can see his face without being destroyed by his brilliant holiness. However in  Christ, the veil of separation between us and God is torn away and we receive Christ's righteousness. Therefore Christians can come boldly to God's throne of grace and see God’s face  (2 Corinthians  4:6).


  Often the reason I want to have these encounters is not so that I can feel good or experience something new but because I know that each encounter draws me closer to God. I learn something new about him with each revelation. I crave these experiences because I want to more deeply understand God and interact with him.   Below is an experience I had with God several months ago that allowed me to learn more about him: Starving for more of God, I had been debating whether or not to go on a missions trip with a well known revivalist. Ultimately I decided it was not the right time for me to go but I still in pangs to experience God more deeply.   I asked him , in Moses moment, to show me his glory even though I couldn't go on the trip.  Amazingly, he honored this request sooner than I expected. As I retired for the night, I felt the weight of his glory, more so than I'd ever felt. I was plastered onto my bed and even think I saw smoke or mist around me.  Then I heard his voice say  "I want you to know who I am". My eyes felt like they were burning out of my sockets and I was  afraid. He was so holy that it hurt, I felt like I was falling apart, like I was going to die. I was literally undone and it hit me that God is much bigger than I knew. I  learned afresh we probably don't experience even a 10th of what God is worth in our day to day life. He masks so much of his glory and  after experiencing a small taste of it, I'm certainly glad to be in Christ.  I experience God's presence deeply every day, but even what I experience is no where close to the level of himself he revealed to me that night. It was humbling to be reminded of his greatness, but in order to experience it I had to ask. At times it is hard for me to admit my hunger to know him and hard for me to have faith to expect more , but he is a rewarder of those who diligently seek him(Hebrews 11:6 NIV) . I'd been asking God for such an experience  or 3 years, not very long in the grand scheme of things, but long for me. God has shown me that I , like Moses, can ask to see his glory and longing to see his glory is really longing to know more of him.


Wise Seekers 

 With supernatural experiences, we can see God's glory, his inherent worth.  We see from Scripture that is right and proper for us to ask for such experiences. God is Spirit and he desires worshippers who will worship him in spirit and in truth. As unbelievers we were unable to connect with God but now that we have believed, we have been seated in heavenly realms and now have access to the spiritual world (Ephesians 2:24-6, NIV).  With that being said, we must responsibly seek spiritual experiences.  Responsibly seeking means to test the spirits and see if what we have is from God  (1 John 4:1 NIV) Satan is a deceiver and a counterfeiter; he will disguise himself as "good" and try to give you false experiences in order to lead you away from God. It is also possible for your experiences to be a product of your own imagination. Therefore you need to properly discern the source of your encounters (  Is it from God, devil or self?).


 The Bible is the only infalliable resource you have and should be the measuring stick by which you judge your encounters. Your experience should not contradict what is in the Bible or go against the gospel. In the case that your experience is not  explicitly in the Bible, examine the fruit. Does the experience draw you closer to Jesus or match God character as revealed in the Bible? Supernatural experiences are often referred to as prophetic experiences because they are inspired by the spirit of prophecy, who is the Holy Spirit. The spirit of prophecy is the testimony of Jesus Christ. So if your experience is a testimony of Jesus Christ then it is likely from the spirit of prophecy, who is the Holy Spirit. If an experience exalts Jesus, supports the gospel and does not contradict key aspects of the faith (namely those revealed in Hebrews 6:1-2) then it is likely of God. You may also want to consult with other believers and weigh their counsel. However, keep in mind only you fully know what you have experienced. Listen to your own discernment in addition to that of others.  Some well meaning believers, who are suspicious of spiritual encounters (either because of pride or fear)  much like the Pharisees, will misjudge what is of God and could talk you out of an experience that is from him.  If possible, find someone who is mature in the faith like a pastor or older Christan with a great deal of experience in the supernatural. If you use all of these methods together instead of just one, your chances of successful discernment will  increase.  Even so, a certain level of faith is required in order to pursue supernatural experiences. Ultimately you must believe more in God's ability to keep you from deception than in satan's ability to deceive you. We must worship God in Spirit and in truth . Spiritual experiences happen through the Holy Spirit and they can look like many things, from visions, to dreams, to visits to heaven or visitations to your home from God and angels. You could even encounter God through the pages of the Bible. f you are in the word of God and you ask God for the Holy Spirit , you can have confidence God will not give you a stone or a snake. Believe that our good God will give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him  (Luke 11:13, NIV).


[1 ]http://biblehub.com/hebrew/3513.htm

A Gift from a Good God: Dancing in the Spirit

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows". James 1:17

 God is a God of good gifts--even dancing. A special way God showed his love for me was through giving me a prophetic dance, or a dance inspired by the Holy Spirit. Before surrendering my life to God I had many insecurities. However, when I first began to know him in the winter of my freshman year,  all of the shame and dissatisfaction I felt with myself was immediately taken away. Daily God would tell me “I love you” and call me terms of endearment such as “my darling” “my child” and “my sweet heart”. For the first time I felt loved and cherished. I felt beautiful.  I never knew my earthly father, but I had gained a heavenly Father. I also realized who Jesus was, that I was saved because of the works he did and not my own. I found out the true character and heart of God. He was not disappointed with me, he was not distant.  I gained freedom. This freedom manifested in a beautiful dance given to me by the Holy Spirit. As a young girl I always liked ballet. I used to watch in wonder as the  famous Romanian ballerina Alina Cojocaru glided across the stage as if she were made of air. Entranced, I watched online as she danced the Rose Adage from the Tchaikovsky’s Sleeping Beauty.  I wished  I could dance on the tips of my toes or move my limbs in such a graceful fashion, but I thought I never could. I had never learned, and because of my weight I didn’t have confidence that I ever would. But one day while I worshipped at a small church, the Holy Spirit began to move my arms and legs.  I realized I was dancing just like those lovely ballerinas. It started out first as a gradual move of my arms but when I felt a tug to do more , to surrender more of my body to God, I became afraid. It wasn’t until a few months later at a small, Pentecostal church in New Jersey that I felt again the Spirit's desire to move my body.

   All of sudden I knew how to twirl, how to pivot, how to do an arabesque ( one leg extended outward while balancing on the other). I, who never had any training and never dared to try on my own, was dancing in the Holy Spirit. In 1 Corinthians 14:15  Paul said he both sings and prays through the Holy Spirit. If one can speak in tongues by the Spirit and even sing in tongues through the Spirit, why not “dance” by the power of his Spirit as well? As the Holy Spirit moved my limbs, I gained a deeper understanding of Romans 6:13. "Do not offer any part of yourself to sin as an instrument of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer every part of yourself to him as an instrument of righteousness.” As a Christian I am the holy temple of God's Spirit , the place where he dwells. I am not my own but belong to him. Therefore every part of my body is available for him to use any way he wants, even to make me dance. God has the power to move our bodies as we yield to him.  My Father God knew how much I longed to dance like a ballerina, and he gave me the gift  of dancing in the Spirit, without my even asking or knowing how to ask. Even to this day, four years after receiving the gift I still dance in and with the Holy Spirit. It has become an important part of my worship of him. Its also a perfect picture of his heart as a Father, of his seeing a desire of his child and deciding to bless her with it.

"If you , then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!" Matthew 7:11

The Discipline of God's Love

   
 "Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? If you are not disciplined---and everyone undergoes discipline---then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all.....God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness." Hebrews 12:7-8,10

  In my very first post on this blog I talked about the joys of knowing God as a Father. Experiencing his paternal love has been an important aspect of my life. Before becoming a Christian, I saw God as this distant and cold being but when I got saved,  I discovered his personal and fatherly nature.  Many do not know just how fatherly he is. His nature truly is to be "fatherly" and that's why he's calls himself "the Father". Because I 'd always seen him as impersonal, its was SUCH a stark contrast to know him as my Father. In my early days as a Christian, he  showered me with so much affection I was amazed I could know him and that it could feel so wonderful to be his. All my life, I'd felt insecure and ugly, but God went out of his way to call me beautiful, his daughter and his princess, directly and through other Christians. He gave me a new song and a new dance. Christians I didn't know told me I was beautiful just because God had led them to. I would dance as led by the Holy Spirit, and "coincidentally" some would exclaim how I was God's daughter and he my Father--such a good reinforcement for me.  God gave me that season to build trust and confidence in me for when the tests would come. And they did. As I go through various trials , I often struggle to reconcile God's deep, fatherly love for me with his allowing me to suffer. Spiritually I know the answer--its to conform me to Christ--, but practically, in the moment, its hard to feel loved when you are hurting and you know that God could choose to end the hurting. Truly, I don't believe its God's "perfect will" for us to suffer but we brought suffering into the world through our sin and suffering comes through the schemes of the devil. Trials will happen whether we like it or not. Sometimes God allow us to go through these trials and at other times he chooses to shield us from them. 

So, here are a few ways God has helped me reconcile his loving, Fatherly heart with the reality of suffering.

First, according to Romans 8:28  he works all things out for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose. Believing in God's goodness and love even when we don't feel it, is really what faith is all about. It may seem crazy for God to choose to work through suffering but he tells us in Isaiah 55:9  that his ways are higher than our ways and his thoughts are higher than our thoughts. Even in the pain, we must trust that he knows better than we do and that this way of suffering is the best of all. If the Scriptures say God is good, we must choose in faith to accept this, no matter the depth of our pain.

  Secondly, God didn't spare himself from suffering.  He sent his own beloved son to the cross. I'm not better than Jesus and I know how much the Father loves the Son (Matthew 3:17). If the Father allowed his perfect son to suffer, why should I expect to be treated differently? 

   Lastly, God has been explaining to me the connection between "discipline" and his fatherly heart. 
"Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children......God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness." ( Hebrews 12:7). Even though I'd been aware of this verse for some time, I still struggled to grasp how God could love me, while allowing me to go through a wilderness, while seemingly hiding his presence from me. However , recently God drew my attention to the part "he disciplines us so that we may share in his holiness". I realize this is one of the most loving things God can do for us. He loves us so much that he wants us to be like him. He loves us so much that he does not want to leave us bound in our sin. He loves us so much that he want us to share in the joy, and the life and the divine pleasure of being God---and he will stop at nothing to make that happen, even if that means we must hurt for a little while. He can see the final reward and its worth it to him. "For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all."  ( 2 Corinthians 4;17) While its still difficult to go through  trials , I'm comforted by and try to remind myself that God loves me so much, he wants me to be like him, the most wonderful, the most amazing, the most glorious , the most holy being in the world. He's not punishing me but showing his love for me by giving me the greatest gift of all----his own image, his glory. "No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." 

 To Father God, the end goal is worth shedding tears for and I pray I may count the pain worth it as well. May this also be your prayer.